Sick and tired.
I dont know what happened. Really.
Things were fine last week, and things were starting to get better.
And just overnight, things seems to be back to the old times.
Neglected. I really dont know how to express my feelings.
Things were really fine last week, at least i was able to chat amongst you all.
But, things just changed so instantly.
And i am really unable to overcome that pressure that is forcing towards me.
My personality says it all, i cant face changes, and its true.
But i really have no idea why things can change so instantly and fast.
I really dont understand. Its hard to understand.
I have to face the reality afterall.
What ever it takes, i am willing to take out that step.
But once bitten, twice shy.
I have no trust in myself whether i have the courage to take out another step.
Encouragement, thats all i need.
And i got it.
Thanks dad. (:
Didnt imagine i would cry in front of that.
Afterall these years, i would not cry in front of him unless i am in the wrong.
And that every day, i told that everything.
He told me many of his stories too.
He said to me, " face the reality, nothing cant change unless one stands out."
I know dad meant well, he even asked me if i am too stressed in school work,
and if i wanna take a break.
I wish i could, but i cant afford to.
Nevertheless, i should really be independent. I must be independent.

And you all may not believe it, she came to my dreams.
She told me alot, she told me she was my sister.
Doubtful, i dont know if i should trust her.
But she knows my everything, and she understands me.
And she told me what i should do.
But i still dont know what I should to do.
Complete lost.
And she is gone, she is leaving.
She bade goodbye, with that comforting smile.
And perhaps, or maybe its my hallucination afterall.
After all these weird things going on, i am unable to trust myself anymore.
I am just not me.